I usually dread the coming of winter because I am much more of a “warm” person. I like to be out until past 8:00PM with my dog on a trailhead. I like to feel the sun bake into my bones. When this time of year comes I remember how nourishing that the early darkness is, and how much, despite my ambivalence towards Christmas, that I love falling into a rhythm at the end of each year that is entirely shaped by giving what I have to share with others, celebrating opportunities for togetherness, and taking care of myself. Here are the things that I am doing as 2018 to nourish myself.
Tying up loose ends
My graduate school semester ends this week. Even before my final projects were in a calm set over me. Juggling work, school, and teaching I get into trenches of hectic over-productivity that I cannot imagine ever being out of. Over the horizon of this, and with darkness setting in so early, I take joy in knowing that I will have time to circle back to all that I have rushed through. Just in the last couple of days I have organized my underwear drawer, paid some of my bills, and organized my upcoming schedule. I look forward to writing my holiday cards, giving myself a pedicure, visiting with friends I miss, and -YES- even servicing my vehicle and going to the DMV to renew my license, since these are all tasks that I usually rush through or skip.
“Divesting” from things that I don’t really care about
Having extra time feels wonderful. As a busy woman an important form of self care for me is to make extra time. My horoscope from Chani Nicholas is telling me to “commit to experiencing the abundance of a good fit”. In other words instead of living in the trenches of over productivity, how can I stop overextending myself and create a life that actually works for me, not the me in overdrive? In service of this ongoing endeavor before I buy myself any gifts this year I am asking myself: “what can I give away, let go of, and give up on?” I will be switching up my schedule of yoga classes to make more room for down time. I will be shutting down my Facebook permanently and finding other ways to promote my classes and stay in touch with family & friends…. or maybe just trusting that the people who need my services will find me, and that the people who want to be in my life are holding me in their thoughts (without a stream of constant communication on the Internet reassuring me that it is so). If you follow my page on Facebook please consider saving my website info somewhere, or joining my email list to stay in touch.
Gifting consciously
I mentioned my ambivalence towards Christmas. Many of us have a love/hate relationship towards traditions of gift giving. I do not have to spell it out for you. The sense of obligation to gift, the financial strain of it and the material waste that unwanted and/or unneeded gifts create… these are some of my qualms with holiday gifts. Against this resistance to go out and buy all my friends and loved ones sweaters, candles, etc., some stronger feelings, love and gratitude, come in. The end of the year is my favorite time to express my thanks to everyone I know for everything that they do. Without them I truly would not be able to function, and I would not be as happy. This goes for everyone in my web of connections from my immediate family, to the cousins I never see, from my closest girlfriends to my boss and colleagues, from my distant pen pals to all of the yoga, dance, and climbing buddies that I have nearby. I love taking the opportunity to express my gratitude to all of these people. I do not do it enough. So around the holiday season I give, but I do it consciously. Those in my web of connections know to expect baked goods and cards, not Yankee Candles or cheap jewelry or gift cards. This year I am making essential oil spritzers to give away, and I purchased cards from UNICEF that express a universe message of peace, with proceeds going towards their worldwide efforts to improve wellbeing for children. What I am most excited about is that I am gifting Reiki level one training to some of my colleagues and friends who are on the front lines as medical professionals and therapists trying to help people every day (including educators!), AND I am hosting a dance party for my friends.
Slowing down AND BEING OKAY WITH IT
Everyone is going to start talking about doing cleanses and about setting New Year’s resolutions. Can we talk about giving up on a daily fitness routine for a while and feeling awesome about it? Can we talk about drinking more wine, and eating more cake than usual, and loving it? Can we talk about getting softer and rounder and being absolutely okay with it??? I ate a ton of incredible, lovingly prepared food with my boyfriend’s family at Thanksgiving. I have some parties to attend in the next few weeks, and I would like to bake some treats for my friends like this recipe from the Violet Bakery Cookbook for Rye Brownies that I have been holding onto for over a year because it isn’t gluten-free and it will be garbage without lots of butter. My inner voice is saying: “Breathe. Whole wheat flour won’t kill you. You will always be beautiful. You deserve to craft your own happiness through the seasons with as much love and care as if happiness was like micro-batches of craft beer, always strong, always indulgent, always of a moment and of a time….”
Thank you for reading, and Happy Holidays!